Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
