is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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