just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
