why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
