Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
