Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
