Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize