she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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