At least make sure they are 18
Why
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
