Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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