Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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