Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
