if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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