my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
