Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
