road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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