There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
