So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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