it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You ruined the universe
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