whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I looked at my own cervix.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Randomize
