What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
