butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My vagina just recognized that song.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
