I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
