I just gift wrapped bread.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
