Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
there's paper in my vomit.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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