I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
