I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
