I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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