then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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