All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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