I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
