I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
