Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My balls are so social today.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
