she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So much rum. So many feels.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
