It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
