Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
third nipple confirmed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
