her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
