he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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