is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
