is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
