His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
