So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
