What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
