i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
