he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
