Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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