Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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