mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
