Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
