I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
